Monthly Archives: September 2012

The SHAAAAAAME!

My sister was kind enough to take some pics for me and forward them along. Here are some pics of Klaus and his cone of shame. I can’t help laughing! He is so pissed! I’m such a terrible parent…..

And this one especially I can’t help but laugh at….Klaus’ depth perception is so off. He hits a wall and stops dead in his tracks. I was attempting to take him out and he wouldn’t budge 🙂

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Surgery Cancelled! AGAIN

To say I am disappointed is just silly. Of course I am disappointed. Was I expecting this? Yes. Was I still ever so hopeful in my naivete that something for once with this whole nonsense would go smoothly? You bet.

When a dog is on antibiotics, it increases the risk of infection to the implant and bone. Not to mention that Klaus will essentially be getting a dose of perioperative antibiotics during the procedure and everything is just too risky.

His round of meds will be done the 20th. His surgery was going to be the 21. Ideally it needs to go like this: Klaus finishes up his meds. We wait a week to make sure that his toe is actually healed, and then we wait yet another week to make sure the meds are out of his system.

The schedule is tentative at this point for October 19. Cornell has to call me back. But right now, everything is a “play it by ear”, or toenail or hip or whatever.

I need to discuss everything with my husband. The concern I have is the more we put it off, the closer we are to being in the middle of winter with his healing time. Which would be fine except for the unpredictability of our weather. If the winter was anything like last year – aka non existent, we would be ok. But honestly, I don’t want to be making check up trips in the winter.

Possible new plan: get Klaus neutered and healed and the hip surgery is in the Spring.

Maybe? I’m trying not to read into everything so much- higher powers and that sort of thing. But I am starting to feel like the universe is telling me something. Or testing just how stubborn I can be.

How am I doing?!

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I’m trying VERY hard to remain even keeled…..

but I am just not able to find my “happy place”. During my father’s drinking years- and ultimate sobriety, his mantra was always, through everything good and bad,  “calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean….”. All I see are stormy ‘drowny’ waves and my limbs are so tired from treading water.

I saw this on Facebook today: Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you’ve fallen in love with and when it doesn’t work out, you become angry that you now have to pursue a new life plan. If you want to tame your inner demons, you must not become attached to any particular life plan, and remain open to there being a better, happier life plan.

I needed to read this today but more than just reading it, I need to adopt this. It’s not that I am angry, I am just so very tired of hitting every bump in the road imaginable. But I apparently need a new perspective.

We noticed last night Klaus licking at one of his toes. So we checked and another one of his nails is infected. This happened on the front foot a few months back and set us back in regards to getting him neutered. The medicine they put him on has to be worked out of his system before any surgery- castration and THR alike. By the time it had worked itself out we were looking at his (original) THR date.

Now we are possibly looking at a delay in his surgery- yet again. I am currently waiting to hear back from Cornell about it.

Klaus’ nails are black which makes trimming them a nightmare. I can’t tell you how many horror movie instances we have had with trimming them. Blood. Lots of blood. We have learned to do lots of short trimmings and it is because of this his nails are left longer than I would like. This lends him to stubbing them or having the catch etc.

Our vet was so very kind to just write us a RX instead of having to bring him in. The last time this happened it was $200. They also gave us a cheaper medicine. Again, very much needed as we have been tapping his hip fund for his repeat in tests!

I have to admit I had a total melt down the other night. It’s not to say I hadn’t had one prior to all of this. But something snapped in my brain. I was overcome by an overwhelming feeling of regret. I hate to say it out loud but I wished we had waited to get Klaus. I wished we had inquired more about the hip and elbow certifications. I wished I had asked more about the health guarantee and what that entailed- because having to give a dog back you have raised and loved since he was 9 weeks old is just awful. I wished we had gotten the hip dysplasia rider on our insurance. I could go on and on.

The whole time I was feeling so guilty for wishing we didn’t have Klaus. Do I love Klaus because I feel an obligation to him- to see this whole shit storm through, because I don’t believe anyone else can or will? Or do I genuinely love him? It’s tough. I feel like it all overlaps. Is there a difference so does it even matter? He’s been a giant pain in our ass almost from the beginning.

I am doing everything I possibly can to make his life more enjoyable.  Unconditional you say? I’d have to agree.

Sorry for such a somber and melancholy post. I’d lighten the load with some pictures- if only Klaus didn’t eat my phone! Everything works except for the camera- the one thing I really wish worked right not, go figure. I wonder if my insurance covers dog nomming?

I was JUST talking about unconditional love right?

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Surgery rescheduled. AGAIN!

I was all set to make the announcement today that we had got the OK from Cornell and had scheduled his appointment for this coming Friday at 7:30 am. There were to be no overnight drop offs involved to lessen the stress of the hospital stay and us leaving him. He would be operated on Friday and they would keep him “until he could take his medications orally and his incision looked ok” which I took to be the weekend.

I just got a call from Cornell that the surgeon will not be available until Friday September 21. Well, if that’s when he is available then that is when we have to do the surgery right? I can’t help but look at that date and see the 4 week mark for his original surgery date. This whole process has been- well a process and I just want things to move forward. SMOOTHLY.

Did I mention last week we had to get a new car? The inspection was up and we were going to have to sink WAY TOO MUCH into it for it to be worth it. Hell, we had sunk $300 into the back brakes hoping for a few more months. It had started stalling- the transmission was going. All around, it was a terrible stress induced anxiety ridden trip every time we got in that van to go somewhere.

I find myself still feeling anxious when I drive, waiting for it to stall. But at least now the van is one less thing for us to worry about.

It’s just the biggest thing occupying all my time and energy right now is Klaus’ surgery. Each week we put it off I become more and more stressed.

Klaus was prescribed trazadone to calm his nerves and it has been working nicely. I wonder how many pills would work for me!?

JUST KIDDING! My drug of choice seems to be sleep- it’s all my body wants to do.

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