Please can someone else make this decision!

What was supposed to be an appointment for radiographs with a drop off and over night hospital stay for surgery tomorrow has turned into a bigger ordeal than I seem to be able to handle. Which, is just par for the course for the past week is it not? We are coming off of hitting many many snags even in our plan b for our finances- and in short despite our amazing credit, because I made the switch to self employed, and although making more than when I was working for the man, based off of last year’s taxes no one will give us a loan!

But that is neither here nor there as our biggest concern is what to do with Klaus’ surgery!

His blood work came back iffy- with possible signs of infection so they needed to run a second work up. I just got the call from the attending and so far things look ok and they are waiting on the urinalysis. This puts us driving back to Cornell next week for surgery.

The biggest snag of them all however is the surgeon’s concern for Klaus’ rehabilitation. We do not have a chill lap dog who will lounge about and be ok with just resting. No no no. We have a dog who is so protective of the house that any sound outside, human or dog he is jolted to a standing position and if we don’t catch it in time, is in the window LOSING HIS MIND! It is no exaggeration folks. It was a concern we had brought up initially back in the first consult. But I don’t think they got the jist of it until today.

So here I sit, with a dog who is drugged up from anesthesia from the radiographs, unable to eat (hasn’t eaten anything since 11 last night), with a pen and paper in front of me listing the pros and cons of each option.

All I can think of is “SHITE! This is where we were months ago!”. We were explained about the FHO and were almost sold on it when we really sat down and discussed everything, we decided on THR. Now we are back at considering the FHO because of the down time is 10 DAYS! But he would probably have to have his other hip done. If we do the THR probably just one hip so it’s one time we have to deal with this mess.

Is this deja vu or what?! This is all the stuff I highlighted months ago. FHO- less down time, but probably both hips so the same cost essentially as a THR. THR is more expensive but considered the cadillac of surgeries but has way more risks- ie shepherds bones are thinner so hammering an implant into a thin bone can cause it to break. If shit hit the fan they would essentially have to take out the implant and do an emergency FHO.

OH MY GOD THIS IS ALL SO RIDICULOUS!

*I just got off the phone with my mom who spoke to my uncle who used to raise shepherds and is currently the proud papa to a rescue who is a total shit like Klaus. His verdict? THR. Even though the attending said he’d do an FHO if Klaus was his, he did say they have some anxiety meds which would help with Klaus’ down time.

Am I leaning towards the THR again? It feels like it but I’m not ready to make this decision just yet. I am way too overwhelmed and tired.

I’m tired too bud but you gotta hang in there while we figure this stuff out. We just want what’s best. And I am not ashamed to admit I just don’t know at this point! I just don’t know.

What a way to end the week: the sequal aka “Not finished with raining on your parade”

I guess it all depends on when the week really truly ends for you. Does it coincide with your work week ending at 5pm on a Friday? I don’t have a normal work 9-5 work week so perhaps not?

What about Saturday night if we consider how we sing song in our head, Sunday, Monday Tuesday…….

Anyways in short I spoke too soon Friday. The sprinkles and hot fudge to go along with the cherry to my sundae was spending hours at urgent care with my husband only to be rushed to the ER for “possible emergency surgery”. Without going into too much gory detail, after blood work and cat scans he did not need surgery but rather a needle with novacain and a good ole  fashioned drainage.

What’s it with the male population completely ignoring warning signs and red flags when it comes to their health? Are you that out of touch with your body?! My dad is the same way! “I thought it was something bad so I didn’t want to deal with it and was hoping it would go away”……..What?! and us females pay waaaaaaaay more in health insurance because why?

I’m convinced he’s trying to get me back for my kidney stones. That and slowly kill me off for the insurance policy that he must have forgotten we cancelled to save money each month on our budget!

But I swear to all that is holy and right in the world- I don’t have much energy left. When it rains it pours. Yes I know. But this week will be a monsoon of crap and I’d love it if Klaus’ surgery could go off without a hitch!

Please?

What a way to end the week

I don’t think it an odd assumption to make that Klaus must know “something is up”. He has been acting like a little jerk this whole week. We rarely have really awful terrible days, let alone weeks in our house with him. I can count on just a few fingers the really bad times. He appears to have calmed down today. At least I can say that for now…….

He really does look so sweet and innocent here. With “his” pillow that he likes to fluff up and lay on and surrounded by his favorite toys. But don’t let this picture fool you. He has been so bitey towards everyone lately- as if to say “leave me alone everyone!”. Which is funny since most of his altercations were unprovoked by us- merely walking by him would illicit a negative response.

I’ve tried (funny to know tired is just a letter switch away from tried) to be patient, I really have but there have been so many moments this week when I got in the car and just drove around. I’m realizing now those times when my own mother grabbed her purse and keys and replied she was “going crazy” when we inquired where she was going.

So biting, barking, lunging at dogs he knows on walks, chasing and pawing the cat, counter surfing, table surfing and clearing……….all this week. And the cherry on the top to it all- despite our amazing credit score and diligence in paying down so much of our mortgage in 3 years, we did not get approved for the home equity line of credit.

It’s our own fault really, for thinking of in terms of already having the loan- how we would combine a  lot of our credit card debt and his surgery costs in one. How we would really be able to knock down our debt with only one payment a month- instead of many, not being able to tackle the principle. We felt a sense of relief was on the horizon for us.

We were very fortunate to have been approved for a grant through New York state towards the renovation of our home- a house that was slated to be demolished because it had been abandoned for so long. But something so nice and helpful three years ago, is not so nice and helpful now. Essentially we needed NY state to subordinate the loan. They do not and will not subordinate for anyone. EVER. I need to go back and reread our promissory note and see how long this hangs over our head. Because as it stands- we would never be able to refinance for as long as this is attached to our mortgage.

So that’s that. The good news and sense of relief I was hoping for didn’t come. We are onto our back up plan now. And all we can do is keep moving forward, facing whatever comes our way head on. It’s just oh so tiring and draining sometimes.

I know that everything is feeling  so compounded, with his surgery looming over our heads next week, his misbehaving, the finances……….I need to keep things into perspective more. It’s all relative. We will be ok. These are all essentially first world problems that in the grand scheme of things, means nothing! We will get through everything. It would just be nice for a little weight to be lifted from my shoulders.

Klaus with “his” pillow. It really is amazing he hasn’t destroyed it yet. Maybe we ought to just start buying him discounted throw pillows!

What we do for our pets!

Responsible pet owner? I think not.

This article was posted online today. And I am more than shocked that the owner is now coming forward to claim the dog.

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/injured-dog-rescued-mountain-owner-left-wants-back-205708358–abc-news-topstories.html

I’m sure it was a very, VERY difficult decision to leave the dog behind. HOWEVER, there is no way in hell I would ever just leave it at that. I would never be able to live with myself, or sleep at night knowing essentially I left my dog out there to die- with no attempt at rescue what so ever.

This is a classic example of how I believe that 75% of the population should not have pets.

It’s ok folks, we won’t think you’re less of a person if you don’t ever own a pet. I will think less of you if you do shit like this. Having pets isn’t for everyone (clearly when you consider the amount of abuse/neglect cases).

And people think I’m nuts for spending thousands to fix my dogs hip? I think you’re nuts for considering your pets so expendable.

Serious denial

Sorry folks for the lack of posts lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind- to say the least. We are 2 weeks away from his surgery and I was kidding myself when I said I was ready. I’m not. I was hoping that by creating a mantra of sorts- “you are ready, you got this”……..that I would eventually believe it.

To say that I have been stressed is an understatement. I look at Klaus and think to myself, “he has no idea the shit storm that is about to ensue”. And let’s face it, neither do I! Work life for both my husband and I has been stressful and busy- so everything all around feels stifling.

I’m feeling scared and uncertain. Emotional and uneasy. I am also feeling angry for some of the (non-approved) comments I have had to filter through “shaming” me for 1- buying a dog from a breeder and 2- asking for help in his surgery that is “undoubtedly due to bad breeding”.

I want to echo something I recently saw on Facebook- as written by someone who would do anything and everything for the breed, who promotes rescues, has rescued, but is also someone who buys from responsible breeders……

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE DOGS AND CATS DUMPED AT SHELTERS ACROSS THE NATION! AND NEITHER ARE THE RESPONSIBLE BREEDERS OUT THERE.

You know who is? People who think that cute puppy is just a cute cuddly ball of fur- a puppy who doesn’t have accidents, chew and rip apart furniture and shoes, who sheds and makes your eyes water.

People who won’t devote the time and energy necessary to raise an animal- responsibly and properly. People who don’t spay or neuter their animals. People who move and don’t want to bring their pets. Pet stores that create a need for backyard breeders…..I can go on and on.

We did buy Klaus from a reputable and responsible breeder who in all her years of breeding litters has NEVER had an issue like this. We got dealt a shitty card. And you know what!? We are dealing with is as best as we can. We didn’t think- well we can’t handle this so let’s dump him off onto someone else.*we are in contract with the breeder that if for ANY reason we couldn’t take care of Klaus we would give him back so he would never ever end up in a shelter.

Let me tell you this- in explaining to various people inquiring about our situation- friends and strangers alike- the sentiment that we come across more often than not is “well personally we wouldn’t do that for our dog”. “He’s just a dog- $6?! You can get a new car with that…”

Excuse me for my fiery rhetoric, but I am tired of the holier than thous out there. Don’t you dare look down on me for “asking” for help (I did set up a donation tab because people were asking, but the majority of the money raised was through items I designed and sold as well as the garage sale we had, and some of our VERY GENEROUS AND KIND close friends)- especially if you yourself probably wouldn’t do nearly as much as I have been doing for my dog. So piss off!

Ok. To cleanse everyone’s pallet of that little outburst, here are some shots of Klaus. His newest thing is to get in the tub until I turn the water on. I don’t understand him. He HATES baths, but is ok with jumping in there to lap up the water from the faucet?!

I want to take a moment to thank everyone out there who has been supportive and kind to us. All those who donated. All those who bought a print from me or crap from the garage sale. All those who are now rocking the GSD pins and stickers. Graham and Adam and everyone who donated that day at Recess Coffee. All those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers. All those who have sent PMA our way…………….

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOMS OF OUR HEARTS!

Help Dolemite!

Today was going to be the EPIC multi-family yard sale on our street. Except the one day we hoped it wouldn’t rain, it rained. It’s let up now. Of course after I packed in everything! I had a little tent and was trying to stick it out, but the tent was leaking and everything was getting more and  more soaked. So tomorrow will be part deaux of the sale. Wish us luck!

With that said I wanted to shift your attention to a friend of mine who is battling her own vet bills. I felt I need to highlight this because I KNOW EXACTLY HOW SHE FEELS! When we got the diagnosis, though not a matter of life and death, it was still crushing to hear.

With my friend’s vet bills continuing to pile up and with no real diagnosis given- they are feeling the pressure that only the kindness and generosity of others can relieve.

It is humbling and embarrassing enough to have to bite the bullet and shove your pride aside to ask for help. Couple that with the stresses of not knowing what is wrong with their cat, and you’ve got some really worn out kitty parents! But I know, like myself, they are willing to do anything and everything they can to help their fur children.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE consider helping out. Even just a little bit goes a long way!

Their story is here: Dolemite

Besides making a donation, passing this information is the least I can do. She helped with Klaus’ hip fund by purchasing some jewelry- so please help her out in return!

Seriously slacking!

Maybe it’s the ridiculous heat wave and drought we have been plagued with, but I just can’t get myself motivated to attend to anything other than the basic day to day crap! So the blog, among other things has been ignored.

Add to the fact my friend from Alaska is in town- well my days and nights have been filled with fun things.

The other day we stopped at an antique festival and I found this little gem of a jewel…… It’s a GSD pin! I’m considering making a mold of it so I can make more!

Last year at another festival I stumbled upon this bad boy……..It’s from the 1950’s! The woman who sold it to me was so happy I had a shepherd. It was her mother’s.

And my mother recently gave me this statue that she found in the barn……….The face is more squatty than the other one, a little less shepherd but still cool nevertheless! It’s funny to think all the time we spent as kids rummaging through the barn, I never saw this!

I tend to think of myself as only mildly crazy about my dog. I do find myself needing to filter my contributions to conversations when all I have is a Klaus anecdote! Klaus this. Klaus that. But when you are a SAHPM (stay at home puppy mom), I don’t have much to offer. Unless you want to talk about graphic design!

The above items are really the only dog items I own. I don’t have socks with shepherd faces on them. Or a fleece with Klaus’ face embroidered on it. I don’t have tote bags, or mugs. Scratch that- Jesse has a mug at his cafe. Our vehicle isn’t plastered in GSD themed stickers- even though I have designed some cool ones 🙂 I think that has more to do with how crappy our car is, and not wanting to waste a sticker on it.

I never actively seek out items. I just stumble upon them. Only then do I actually purchase them. Fingers crossed I can keep the “collection” under wraps 🙂

I did want to mention that Klaus’ crates came yesterday so we will be setting everything up very soon. We are gearing up for a kick ass yard sale this weekend to rid ourselves of crap, and raise money for Klaus’ hip! I think things will get back on track after, especially considering we will be clutter and mess free.

I AM LENNOX

I have been loosely following the story of Lennox for some time now and I guess I was filled with so much hope and ultimately naivete that he would in fact be saved- that a beacon of light would shine through the nonsense and of all the countless hundreds of offers from others to adopt him, after being evaluated by a number of animal behaviorists deeming him adoptable, and the WORLD WIDE support of total strangers, he would be able to live the rest of his days out. However he was killed at the hands of the Belfast Council, who had deemed him ‘a dangerous “pit bull-type dog”‘. Pit bulls are a breed banned in the United Kingdom as per their BSL (Breed Specific Laws).

As I sit here contemplating how to express my feelings in a coherent manner, I look over at my own dog- happily chewing on his favorite toy, a nice walkie and a full bowl of food to look forward to later, along with some snuggles and belly rubs- and I feel total sadness for the family of Lennox. They weren’t even given the chance to properly say good bye to him and were told they should get his ashes in the mail.

Is it really that difficult to figure out it’s not the dog it’s the human? Are humans that ignorant to their own actions, they can’t see what is just so blatantly obvious- at least to me?! I was feeling so inspired and rant filled I wanted to write a post about this, but I am just feeling so terribly sad.

Consider reading up about BSL because it could be your area, your dog’s breed being targeted next.

 

He is your dog for a reason

Awhile back when I was feeling rather defeated by our hip situation, my friend offered me this little tidbit…….

“There is a reason Klaus is yours. He is your dog because you will do anything and everything in your power to make his life better.”

It’s the truth. We will and always will do everything we can to make sure he has the fullest most rewarding life a dog can have. When we got Klaus we never took the situation of dog ownership lightly. I was aware of the differences in dogs and cats as I had always grown up with them. But this was different. Klaus was OURS. We were very much the “first time parents”- trying to do everything right. Worrying about silly things now in retrospect.

Even when we were told we could give him back after he was diagnosed with his hip troubles- we thought HELL NO! That thought was never even on the table for us. We had already bonded. It was very hard for us to comprehend just how in fact puppy parents can make that decision- whether it be a few months, or years of their company, to just get rid of them for whatever reason.

That’s not to say there are days when I don’t feel so worn down from it all that I wonder if we should have waited a year or two longer to get him- to get our shit together with our finances, to install a fence, etc. There would always be something though and that’s just me being honest in my darkest hour. Klaus is our fur child. Through thick and thin. And let me tell you these next couple of months will be rough.

Everything leading up to the surgery has been a cake walk. Keep him tethered on a leash and under control so his hip doesn’t luxate- check. Keep the extra pounds off to alleviate the stress on his hip- check. Exercise him and stretch him within his limits- check. Put a halt to the excitable puppy play dates- check.

Love him even though he has been and can be a little shit- check, check, check.

This time next year I hope we will be running around with all our other puppy friends, just like we used to before this all happened! Knowing he has soooooo many more years ahead of him with a good hip will make everything worth it.

I was hoping to have his pen delivered today but it’s on backorder until 8/02!

Ring around the living room…..

So this past weekend one of my best friends got married. It was a hectic few days as I was part of the bridal party. With the hoopla happening out of town it would have been impossible to tend to Klaus so we boarded him at Camille’s. We decided to extend his stay by one day so we could tend to the living room. His “jail” has been ordered. We have rearranged the living room pushing the bulk of the furniture towards the fire place and freeing up space closer to the door. We have to buy some carpets to put down, especially a runner for the space in between his pen and the outside door so he isn’t slipping walking to go out. Shit is getting real!

Also, as a surprise to Klaus (so SHHHH!) we picked him up some new toys to hopefully keep him a little more occupied, though we shall see. I don’t know about you but a 75 lb whiny ass dog, penned up in a 6’x6′ (give or take) pen for 6 weeks sounds like a really good time! I just know he is going to whine and bark if we’re around and he’s in there. He has always felt the need to BE RIGHT WHERE WE ARE, wherever that may be- bathroom included.

Looking forward to hearing from Cornell as what they recommend we do. I have read to feed him his meals in some sort of interactive mind encouraging toy. Maybe. I just don’t want a lot of rolling about and chasing happening.

Stay tuned for pics of when everything is set up properly!